Dr. Stephanie Han

Month: May 2021

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Belief and Philosophy Blog Educators Reading & Writing Teachers Woman. Warrior. Writer.

Woman. Warrior. Writer. Anne Liu Kellor

In the spirit of Maxine Hong Kingston, our WOMAN WARRIOR tribute presents women writers, creators, and leaders. Here we can learn, better our own lives, and change our communities. For API Month 2021 I would like you to meet Anne Liu Kellor.

How did you come to author your life?

The process of coming into my power is ongoing. I first learned to claim what I want when I traveled alone to China, my mother’s birthplace, in my twenties. Then, for many years, I stubbornly held onto my trust that I am meant to be a writer and teacher. I submitted my memoir to over 100 presses and agents, while juggling motherhood, a rocky marriage, and self-doubt. During the pandemic, I finally divorced, which forced me to take entrepreneurial leaps of faith with my career and work harder than ever.  This September, my memoir will finally launch—a book I’ve been incubating for over twenty years. This feels like only the beginning.

Anne Liu Kellor is a Seattle-based writer, editor, coach, and workshop facilitator. Her memoir, Heart Radical: A Search for Language, Love, and Belonging, was praised by Cheryl Strayed as “insightful, riveting and beautifully written.” Heart Radical traces Anne’s three-year sojourn in China and her struggle to claim her voice as a mixed-race, bilingual Chinese American woman.

Pre-orders are available now: www.anneliukellor.com

Categories
Belief and Philosophy Blog Break Divorce Educators Reading & Writing Self-help

Write Your Divorce Story and Stand Up Now

 

Aloha,

This is me three years ago. I had boarded a plane from Hong Kong utterly shattered. In fact, I had missed my layover flight from Seoul to the US despite being right at the gate — they were calling my name over and over on the loudspeaker (I found out later) and I was on the phone completely thrashed and talking to a friend and didn’t hear anything. I had to spend the night in the airport. Everything was shut. I finally found the overnite hotel there and checked in for about 5 hours. I took this picture when I got on the plane and sent it to my mom saying, “Mom, I deserve more out of life.”

I landed in Hawai’i, called around, and talked to lawyers and my ex was served papers when he stepped off the plane about a month later.

FLASH FORWARD

This is me a few weeks ago. I just got out of the water near Waikiki. Three years is a lifetime.

If you would have told me I would feel this good back then, I would never have believed you. I am not the same person. I went through a massive transition. One of my old friends said that obviously, my entire system got rewired when I divorced and she was right. I really do like my life so very much.

Life is not problem free, but the big problem (the ex) is GONE. And I came to see that he was, in fact, the physical real-life manifestation of my doubt, fear, insecurity, and anxiety. I had married my nemesis. Yep.

Worries do come up. Like about 3 months ago I was worried. OH no, the Kid XYZ. My business XYZ. My family XYZ. Will I…Should I…Will I…

You know once you start that train of doubt it gets really crazy.

SNAP OUT OF IT

Then I thought about it very deeply and said this: STEPH SNAP OUT OF IT. And weirdly, I did within a day or two. Why?

Because the person who would keep Steph in that old zone of bad vibes and fear is no longer around!

YOU GOT THIS

So I said to myself: STEPH, YOU GOT THIS. No need to feel that doubt because why should you? The person who exemplified doubt and made you feel it every second of the day is no longer around.

I stopped doubting.

STAND UP NOW

This kind of bossing myself around worked really well when I went out surfing because I was just trying to stand up and hesitated and then I yelled out to myself: STAND UP NOW!

And then I stood up!

There are days when I am just thinking WOW. I feel awesome. Because for the most part, I do. I am not going back to that old picture ever again. EVER. I realized over the past year that what started this change was not simply the divorce itself legally, but it was rewriting my narrative and writing down the story of what I believed. When you write your truth to power you change your life.

Writing my story for my personal and legal file affected all aspects of my divorce process, legally, financially, and most importantly, my emotional well-being.

I wrote this original post three years ago. Since then I have been teaching women how to write their divorce stories using the Divorce Story Structure. Get your divorce story guide write your truth to power, and learn to ride the wave of divorce.

Share this post with women you know who are divorcing.

Categories
Blog Passing in the Middle Kingdom Poetry Reading Reading & Writing Teachers

API Month 2021

This image in Tai Tei Tong, Mui Wo, Lantau, Hong Kong was taken in 2014 and made the Smithsonian Asian Pacific Island American Heritage Month Day-in-the-Life event that year! I had submitted it, but didn’t realize it was chosen until 2019. I thought I’d share it as it is May and APIA month!

If you were a kid, the village square in Mui Wo was where it all went down. Kids chased by grandpa with a stick. Light saber battles. Biking with your mates. Throwing stuff. Kicking balls. Dumpster diving. Food sharing. Dodging bikes and glass and barbed wire. Incense. Rotten oranges. Fresh dirt. Garbage. The heat of green grass. The scent of smog, always, thickening in your nose. Worms. Snakes. Concrete. Shouting. Crying. A feral childhood. Kids running around.

To be sure, it wasn’t like that for all kids. Many of the local or Chinese kids were inside with the TV upon their parents orders. Many of the expat kids tacitly encouraged not to socialize with Chinese kids. But if you were so lucky to have a situation where you could wander out, you would have had a lot of fun or at least some mischief before dusk.

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Educators Reading & Writing Teachers

Taos Writers Conference sponsored by SOMOS July 25

I’ll be teaching at the Taos Writers’ Conference a workshop on Identity and Voice: The Narrative of Group and Self on July 25, 2021.

This workshop will cover both the process and craft of writing fiction. How does an individual’s voice determine how stories are shaped, which stories are told. How do we write ourselves into being? What are the limits and possibilities of the stories of the group and the stories of the individual—how do fiction writers wrestle with the paradox of belonging and emotional truth telling? Why does authorship of life affect story?
This workshop stresses voice and participants will be asked to both write and share as we engage with approaches to solving issues that arise when writing fictional narratives. Exploration about how voice shapes story will enable students to approach their work with a new lens and confidently author the stories that only they can write. Writers will leave with a different idea about their writing process as they engage with the craft of fiction.

Register now! I look forward to seeing you in class!